Photo Credit: Natasha Hall

Are you caught in a loop of never quite feeling sure or secure about the people and relationships that you care for? Do you find that if something happens to upset those relationships, like someone doesn’t text back as quickly as expected, it grates on your own emotional stability? If this sounds familiar, then it may be time to take a look at anxious attachment style. Attachment styles can be healthy and beneficial when they provide our loved ones with security and warmth - but where do we draw the line from healthy attachment behavior into anxious patterns of thought and reaction? Taking a deeper dive into anxious attachment might help us better understand ourselves in our romantic partnerships instead of simply flying off the handle when something feels off. In this blog post, we’ll talk through understanding anxious attachments: what they are, how to recognize them (both within yourself or someone else) and how to nourish both yourself and your relationship without getting stuck in repetitive cycles born out of invested emotion gone awry.

What is an Anxious Attachment Style?

Anxious attachment style is something that affects many individuals in their personal relationships, yet few are aware of what it truly means. Essentially, people with this attachment style often find themselves feeling insecure and worried about their relationships, causing them to crave constant reassurance and validation from their partners. Some signs that someone may have an anxious attachment style include a fear of abandonment, an inability to trust others easily, and a tendency to cling to their partner. The causes of this attachment style are believed to be rooted in childhood experiences, such as inconsistent caregiving or neglect, which can lead to a feeling of instability and insecurity. Understanding more about anxious attachment styles can help individuals better understand their own behaviors and improve their relationships with others.

Understanding Your Own Attachment Style

Relationships can be tricky and navigating them can be even trickier, especially if you struggle with anxiety. Learning to recognize your attachment style can make all the difference. An attachment style is the way you relate to others in intimate relationships. By understanding your own attachment style, you can recognize when anxiety is creeping in and take steps to manage it. For example, if you tend to have an anxious attachment style, you might feel like your partner doesn't love you enough, leaving you feeling insecure and worried. By recognizing these feelings and communicating with your partner, you can work together to ease your anxiety and strengthen your relationship. Remember, recognizing your attachment style is just the first step in building healthy relationships - with some effort and practice, you can overcome attachment-related anxiety and enjoy intimacy with those around you.

Signs You Might Be Anxious Attached

Anxiety is a normal response to stressful situations, but it can become overwhelming when it interferes with daily life. If you're constantly worrying about your relationship, feeling clingy or needing constant reassurance, you might have an anxious attachment style. Physical symptoms such as heart palpitations, shallow breathing, and trembling are also common signs of anxiety. Emotional warning signs include feeling irritable, restless or nervous. Anxiety can affect your sleep, appetite, and ability to concentrate on tasks. If these symptoms persist for more than a few weeks, seeking professional help may be necessary. It's important to recognize the warning signs of anxious attachment and take steps to manage your anxiety before it takes over your life.

Strategies for Dealing with Anxious Attachment

Dealing with anxious attachment can be a challenging experience, but there are strategies that can help you navigate it successfully. One effective method is identifying and addressing your triggers, which can help you understand why certain situations or people are causing anxiety or stress. Creating healthy boundaries in your relationships is also key. This means setting limits on behaviors, expressions, and activities that make you feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable. By doing so, you can protect your emotional well-being and develop deeper, more meaningful connections with the people around you. Ultimately, overcoming anxious attachment requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to put in the work to create healthier patterns of behavior and communication.

Self-Care and Taking Care of Yourself

Taking care of yourself isn't always just about what you do when you're alone. Your interactions with others also play a big role in your overall well-being, which is why practicing self-care during these interactions is crucial. Whether it's setting boundaries, speaking up for yourself, or simply taking a deep breath and grounding yourself in the present moment, taking these steps can ensure that your relationships are healthy and fulfilling. When you're able to prioritize your own needs during these interactions, you're giving yourself the love and respect you deserve. So, remember that self-care is not just a solo activity, it's an ongoing practice that should be applied in all areas of your life.

Moving Forward with Healthy Relationships

Healthy relationships are an essential part of our lives. They come in various forms, from friendships to romantic relationships to family ties. However, fostering these connections can be challenging. Fortunately, there are several ways to move forward with healthy relationships. Firstly, communication is key. We need to be open and honest with those around us to build trust and deepen our bonds. Secondly, respect plays a crucial role. We have to respect each other's feelings, thoughts, and opinions, even if we don't always agree with them. Lastly, spending quality time together is vital. We should make an effort to prioritize time with the people we care about, whether it's through shared activities or simply having a good conversation. By implementing these practices, we can ensure that our relationships flourish and contribute positively to our lives.

This blog post has shown that anxious attachment style can be hard to recognize and understand, but it is important to take the time to identify the signs of anxiety and take steps towards creating healthier relationships. Engaging in self-care activities can help us to build healthy boundaries and reach out at our own pace. Working with a counselor can also be a great way to take care of oneself and help address triggers, so consider talking with a therapist if you feel overwhelmed or out of balance. Overall, the best thing we can do is increase awareness around our experiences and seek out support as needed. If you’re feeling disconnected from your own feelings and those of others, contact Paper Cranes Counseling for a free consultation today. You deserve joyful connections that are both supportive and safe!

Shavonne James, LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Therapist and founder of Paper Cranes Counseling, a private group practice connecting wellness seekers with culturally-affirming, holistic, care. They have openings for individuals that are working through matters of identity, interpersonal relationships, and the inner child. Contact them at www.papercranescounseling.com