Avoid Shrinking: How to Take Up Space In Your Life
Avoid Shrinking:
How to Take Up Space In Your Life
Photo Credit: Chayene Rafaela
Life isn’t monochromatic. Everyone deserves to have moments of color and vibrancy, a place in the world where they take up enough space to be seen and heard. But too often we find ourselves playing background character in our own lives, shrinking away from those big opportunities that could really make an impact on who we are or how we see ourselves. So how can you avoid shrinking into the sidelines and move confidently towards becoming the foreground star of your own story? In actively claiming space within your life—emotionally and physically—you are stating that, despite what you may have been lead to believe in the past, it is okay to occupy space to be seen and heard. Here you'll learn not only why it's important to take up space in your life but also how it can help shift your perspective for positive change. Let's explore together what true confidence looks like as you become more than just another face in the crowd.
Understand why taking up space is important
If you are used to being overly accommodating to others you may have a natural tendency to shrink yourself down and make yourself small. But taking up space is incredibly important, both physically and metaphorically. Physically, taking up space can improve your posture, increase your lung capacity, and even make you appear more confident and assertive. Metaphorically, taking up space means allowing yourself to be seen and heard, expressing your ideas and opinions with conviction, and having the courage to occupy the space you rightfully deserve. So next time you find yourself trying to shrink into the background, remember that taking up space is not only beneficial for yourself, but also for those around you who can learn from your unique perspective.
Notice any feelings of guilt that may be blocking your ability to take up space
Have you ever felt guilty for taking up space? There’s a common misconception that taking up space means infringing upon the space of others but it doesn’t. It means showing yourself, to yourself, that you are worthy of the space you occupy. Maybe your hesitation to take up space is prompted by the fear that you are going to come off as obnoxious, arrogant, or that your presence is a burden on those around you. These feelings of guilt can be incredibly restrictive, preventing you from expressing yourself fully and living life to the fullest. It's important to identify these feelings and acknowledge them, so you can work to overcome them. Remind yourself that you have just as much right to take up space as anyone else, and that your presence is valuable and important. Don't let guilt hold you back from being the best version of yourself.
Tips forTaking Up Space:
Create a list of your needs and wants
We all have different needs and desires that contribute to our overall sense of fulfillment and security in life. Knowing the difference between your needs and wants is important when it comes to making decisions about what to prioritize in your life. Needs are necessities that are required for your survival and well-being, such as food, shelter, and healthcare. Wants are things that are not essential, but that you desire or crave, like a new car, a vacation, or just about anything on your private Amazon wishlist. Making a list of your needs and wants can help you gain clarity on what truly matters to you and where you want to focus your time, energy, and resources. For some, it might be the need for a stable job and financial security, while others might require a strong sense of community and relationships to feel fulfilled. Whatever your needs may be, it's important to recognize them so that you can work towards meeting them and ultimately living a happier life. By taking the time to identify and recognize your needs, you can make more informed decisions and create a life that aligns with your personal values and goals.
Make a conscious effort to be present and aware of your emotions and feelings
In order to truly connect with ourselves and others, we must make a conscious effort to be present, to be aware of what we're feeling and why. Our emotional intelligence is crucial to our ability to relate and thrive in various aspects of our lives. By taking the time to tune in to our emotions and work through them, we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and those around us, leading to greater empathy and stronger connections. Making a commitment to being fully present and aware of our emotions can make room for our relationships and lives to truly flourish.
Advocate for yourself and set necessary boundaries
Advocating for yourself and setting healthy boundaries can be a life-changing practice. Learning to say "no" to things that don't serve you is essential in creating a fulfilling life. Too often, we become people pleasers and say "yes" to everything, causing us to become overwhelmed and burnt out. However, saying "no" can be challenging, as we don't want to disappoint others or feel guilty. But remember, your time and energy are valuable, and you deserve to prioritize your own needs. Having boundaries enables us to protect our time, energy, and emotions. They help us prioritize our needs, and they allow us to communicate our limits to others effectively. Establishing boundaries requires clarity, consistency, and courage. It means learning to be intentional about how you spend your time and who you share it with. Remember, setting boundaries with yourself and others is a continuous process. It takes practice, patience, and self-awareness, but the benefits are worth it. So, take the time to reflect on your boundaries and determine what works for you. Communication is key, so be open and honest with yourself and others. You deserve to have healthy relationships and a healthy sense of self.
Develop assertiveness skills
Assertiveness is a valuable skill that can help you in many areas of your life, from personal relationships to your professional career. It involves confidently expressing your needs, wants, and opinions in a respectful and clear manner. While some may think that being assertive means being aggressive, it's actually the opposite. Assertive individuals are often calm, composed, and able to handle conflict with ease. Developing your assertiveness skills can take time and practice, but the benefits are well worth it. You'll be able to communicate more effectively, make better decisions, and feel more confident in yourself.
Find ways to express yourself
Expressing oneself can be a healing and fulfilling experience. Whether through writing, art, music, appearance, or another form of creative expression, finding an outlet for self-expression can be cathartic for the soul. Writing can help clarify thoughts and emotions, while art can provide a visual representation of inner feelings. Music can evoke emotions and provide an escape, while self-expression through appearance puts your current vibe out there, front and center, for the world to see. Whatever your preferred method of expression may be, it's important to take the time to explore it and allow yourself the freedom to fully engage in it. Remember, tapping into creative energy is not just a talent reserved for a select few, but a human right that we all have the ability to enjoy.
Take up physical space - stretch, move around the room, walk around your neighborhood
Stretching and moving around are not just great ways to relieve stress and improve circulation, they're also important habits for taking up physical space. Whether you're working at a desk all day or running errands around town, it's easy to get stuck in a sedentary routine. But by taking breaks to stretch and move, you can increase your energy levels, focus, and creativity. And don't be afraid to walk around your neighborhood or explore new parts of your city – not only will it get you moving, but it'll also stimulate your mind and help you feel more connected to your environment. So next time you find yourself feeling cramped or stuck, remember the power of stretching, moving, and exploring to help you take up physical space.
Flesh out an action plan for how you can start taking up space in your life
In creating an action plan for taking up space, you can start by identifying anything that’s holding you back. Whether it's fear, self-doubt, or simply not knowing where to start, acknowledging and addressing these barriers is crucial. From there, start setting goals and taking small steps towards achieving them. Maybe it's signing up for that class you've been interested in, or attending a networking event to meet new people. Remember, taking up space doesn't have to mean being loud or aggressive - it simply means owning your space and being confident in yourself and your abilities. With a clear plan and determination, you'll soon find yourself living a more fulfilling life.
Being seen and heard, especially by yourself, is essential to feeling content and secure in life. No one should settle for being a background character in their own life all the time - even if you do enjoy being a wallflower at social gatherings. We must take the appropriate amount of space needed to express ourselves and uphold our needs. Remember: identify your needs, be present and aware with your emotions, set boundaries, advocate for yourself, work on your assertiveness, find ways to express yourself, move around physically and flesh out a plan. Taking up space is a way of saying “Yes!” to you; it’s time to stop shrinking into the background. If taking up the appropriate space feels overwhelming, Paper Cranes Counseling offers free consultations with experienced professionals who can help you manage anxiety or depression that prevent us from taking actionable steps forward in life. Reach out today--it's time to make sure you're heard.
Shavonne James, LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Therapist and founder of Paper Cranes Counseling, a private group practice connecting wellness seekers with culturally-affirming, holistic, care. They have openings for individuals that are working through matters of identity, interpersonal relationships, and the inner child. Contact them at www.papercranescounseling.com